Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
