Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
