omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You need a sexual gate keeper
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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