can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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