my vag is so smooth its legendary
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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