Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
