It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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