You're completely useless in the revolution.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
