My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
