They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize