No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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