I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
