I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
