All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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