Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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