Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
