I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
