Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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