The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
