I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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