Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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