You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she smelled like a LAN party
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
me + whiskey = a bad person
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
