What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
