Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
