drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
