my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
