I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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