I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
