i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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