Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
