My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
