I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We need to get me chipped asap
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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