Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
