No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
