she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
