I hate all girls vehemently.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
