the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
vagina is talking i cant
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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