ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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