I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she looked like the before picture.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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