Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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