last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
