We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize