Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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