What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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