Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
