Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
