Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
