it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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