I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize