They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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