I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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