Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
