the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
