I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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