If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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