So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
They are going to name an STD after you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
