Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
