she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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