Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
