do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
