After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
